This distrust often shows up in online dating profiles when you say things like, "no head games" or "no dishonest men." When you write those things in your profile, you're broadcasting on a billboard that you've been hurt and that you're distrustful.
And most of the men who really do play head games or are dishonest haven't admitted to themselves that they possess these massive flaws, which makes it likely that they aren't going to stay away from you just because you ask them to in your profile.
If you're still having difficulties trusting men after divorce simply by using your logic, I have found one of the most effective ways to release your distrust is to use what's called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), which involves tapping on acupressure points. If you’re lonely after your divorce, it's easy to get involved with someone new before you're truly ready to move on.
A good place to learn this technique is at The Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce Mountain Retreat. But how do you know whether that new relationship is the real thing or whether you're simply on the rebound?
When you do get into a relationship after divorce, even if the guy is faithful to you and is madly in love with you, you may not believe anything he says. Because in the back of your mind, you'll have this ongoing chorus playing: "All men are just like my ex-husband. All men fall out of love and break up with you." It plays like a country song accompanied by an out-of-tune guitar.
Replace that chorus with something more melodious, something like: "I'm having a lot of fun getting to know my new man (or my date) and finding out what good qualities he has." With each man you meet, you want to start with a clean slate. Notice all the ways he is different from your ex-husband.
Yolanda's self-esteem was so damaged by her tumultuous breakup that she worried about her ability to start a new relationship, not to mention her rusty dating skills.
And the pool of single men looked more like a droplet compared with the ocean available to her during her younger years. Census Bureau, approximately nine in 10 people will marry, but about one half of first marriages end in divorce.
Yolanda may have felt alone on the playing field, but she was far from it. The number of women living alone has doubled to 14.6 million, and the number has nearly tripled for men, jumping from 3.5 million to 10.3 million.
With so many single adults out there, one might guess that there's also a lot of dating going on.
Instead, it seems that the older we get, the less we date.